Every time...

…I know it is going to happen.  Before I even arrive at the doorstep, I am ready for the onslaught.  He smiles at me.  Yes.  He really smiles a broad, bonafide, teeth-bearing grin that squishes up his adoring little face while he wiggles all over.  She leaps as high as she stands tall and shrieks, and can barely contain herself.  She wants to give me kisses and kisses and more and more kisses.  This happens to me every time I arrive at my decidedly humble abode.  If I have been gone for a weekend, it happens.  If I have been gone all day, it happens.  If I have been gone for the fifteen minutes it takes me to get my fountain Diet Coke on Saturday mornings, it happens.  Without fail.  Without judgment.  Thankfully, I do not very often have bad days, but on the rare occasion that I do, this event – perpetual and unbridled – certainly pushes it away and brings a smile to me I cannot refuse.  Those sweet, eager eyes awaiting my reciprocation make me warm and fuzzy.  One pair is a dark chocolate brown that sparkles; The other, a speckled mossy green that shines.  Isn’t the way our dogs love us a miraculous thing?

I had gone my entire adult life without knowing the love of a puppy and honestly, as I contemplate it now, I don’t know how I ever did.  I’ll admit it; not so long ago, I was bewildered by pet owners who talked about their dogs as if they were children.   Christmas presents?  For your dog?  Come on! 

Here is my situation now:  I cannot even make a grocery trip to Meijer without battling the urge to bring something home for my “babies” every single trip; I hurry home to them when I have been gone;  I love to watch them frolic and play with each other;  I discuss their differing personalities and quirks;  They sleep with me and crowd the bed; I call them “brother and sister”; I refer to us as “Mommy and Daddy” ; Our parents are “Grandma and Grandpa”;  Oh.  Wait. I have become that person who once bewildered me.

I am bewildered by it, but I also know now that I cannot help it. I need it. I need them.

They remind me that life really is an exciting, intoxicating miracle. Why the heck WOULDN’T we be oh so very excited to see each other at the end of every day? Why DON’T we shriek and leap and smile every time people arrive at our homes?  We have a home.  We have friends and loved ones.  Why the heck DON’T we all shriek and leap and smile?

I think we should try.  Maybe we should greet the people who populate our lives with the same kind of perpetual, accepting, and unbridled enthusiasm that our fur babies do.  Without fail.  Without judgement.  Every time.

I am ready

School buildings have souls.  They have personalities, too.  And to clarify, I am not being cleverly metaphoric about the individual people within them.  Really.  This is not just the demented English teacher in me saying this for fun.   School buildings have deep, rich, fragile souls.

The first time I walked into this school - at which I now begin my ninth year - it had a phenomenal synergy.  It wasn’t a new building, but it was glowing with an aura of positivity that was electrifying.  The longer my interview went, the more intense that feeling became.  The man interviewing me was asking tough questions; I am not sure he smiled more than once or twice. The next day he offered me the job.  What a life-changing event deciding to accept it was! The first time I walked into what would become my classroom, I saw the most hideous green tile flooring, bare walls, and empty desks in boring rows.  What I felt was much different.  This undeniable, magnetic synergy was already wrapping me up and offering me a part in the whole. 

For the last few years that synergy has been missing from my home away from home.  As the years rolled on and the building’s once electric soul was sapped of its amps, I felt drained as well.  I worked hard at recharging me and my students by clinging to the energy that was left, but some days I failed.  Miserably.  I began to question everything I was doing, everything I was feeling, and everything I was thinking.   For the first time in 19 years (Um…what?  19??) I wasn’t sure I was in love with my career anymore. 

As this school year begins, I am beyond thrilled to say that this building is once again a pulsing, thriving, electric soul! Yes, we are still burdened by political mumbo-jumbo that can take its toll, but I found myself nearly drawn to tears today as our leader gave us his last few words of encouragement and preparedness for the most important part of what we do…mentoring the children and young adults entering our midst.    What an empowering feeling it is to once again feel the building come alive with passion, excitement, and unyielding dedication to give these kids everything we have! 

So…I guess I am being cleverly metaphoric. (Ok…maybe not so clever, but you get my point!)  Bottom line?  I am grateful for the recharge that has happened to me.  I am grateful for the recharge that has happened to other individual people in this place.  I am grateful for the recharge that has happened to this building…to this soul.  And you know what else?  I don’t think this building’s soul is so fragile anymore. Synergy.  It’s a real thing.  I am ready to contribute to it.  Are you?