It's Wednesday...

“I’ll be home for Christmas; you can plan on me. Please have snow, and mistletoe and presents under the tree…eeee.” Because yes, I sing Christmas carols year round when I am in the shower.  There. I admit it. I LOVE Christmas carols and I LOVE the way my voice sounds in the shower. 

Then guess what happened?  I excitedly realized that it is already Wednesday!  Smile! Happy dance! This smile is followed immediately by a frustrated eye roll and a reprobative, out-loud exclamation; “You idiot!  You forgot to write!”  (So I guess there is another admission…I sometimes talk to myself.)  Not that I have not been reading and writing…furiously.  The focus of said reading and writing so far this week has been my students, which, I figure, is perfectly acceptable. 

It does continue to astound me how quickly things – time I guess I really mean - can get away from me. I really thought that this school year I would have more “time”.  My son is away at college.  Our puppy is a year older.  I have another year of teaching experience under my belt and brand new technology that everyone says will make things “easier” and “better”. Why aren’t these factors translating into more feelings of being “caught up” with things?  It should, right?  RIGHT?!? My predictions about that, it turns out, have been resoundingly wrong.

As far as the teaching thing goes, I never do everything the same.  I have this inherent need to change things up all the time.  I must be crazy! In reality, I do it for me, partly, because who wants to get bored?  But mostly I do it for the kids because NO GROUP of people is EVER the SAME.  Ever. 

And the technology?  Um…there is a bit of a learning curve there.  I am getting better and more proficient, and I am learning things from my savvy students daily, but this year, so far at least, it has been dreadfully time-consuming.  (I remain optimistic, however.)

Our puppy?  Who am I kidding?  He is STILL a PUPPY.  I love him to pieces and he deserves my attention, too.

My son being gone?  Let’s be honest.  He has been pretty self sufficient for 2 years now, so it is not that influential on my daily routine that his geography has changed. While I am not attending his athletic events anymore, I still attend the events of my students.  I like it.  It is an important use of my time.

So there it is I guess.  Why did I ever really think I would be somehow less busy this school year?  Again…self chastisement: “You idiot!”

I am still smiling because I guess I have decided today that it’s ok.  I am content with feeling constantly under pressure.  I am satisfied with the list that sits beside me of things I must accomplish tonight after school. I am looking forward to the minutes of the evening that I will claim for myself  - a few minutes with Jillian Michaels and a fantasy football draft - because I KNOW how important it is to do those things for me. 

I must admit it; I would be miserable if my life weren’t brimming with all of these wonderful things every single day.  Time really is moving at the same pace that it always has.  My life, thankfully, is just too darn full to always keep up with everything the way I would like to.  Too marvelously full. So, sometimes I write on Wednesdays.

And by the way, there are only 112 days until Christmas so get off my case for the shower caroling, alright?