A New Song

(Written and posted on MyBigCampus on July 15, 2014)

I find it so hard to believe that my son will no longer be occupying the hallways of “our school” for the first time this year.  How is it going to feel on August 5th, 2014 when I head back without him?  How will I handle it?  Heck… you know you are not terribly effusive with your emotions.  It has always been of paramount importance to you to keep those in check in all situations.  To a fault, perhaps.  As I contemplate how it will feel in just a few days, I wonder if I will be able to maintain that important level of control.  Since I have been at Wes-Del, he and I have shared these experiences together.  It has been our place, our studio.  Its happenings have been our soundtrack.  How will Wes-Del feel to me when he is no longer there?  Will I feel as loyal?  Will I want to be as involved?  Will I be as invested as I have always been?  Will it feel as much like home?  Will I still be a successful maker of that music?

I am worried.  I am worried that my personal stake will be diminished.  I am worried I will not feel as connected to the kids in my classroom when they are no longer connected to Evan.  I am worried my compositions will suffer.

I am not worried.  I know I care about the community in which I have lived and taught for the last several years and those feelings of dedication will not fade.  I will be the same teacher I have always been…deeply invested and deeply involved.  In fact, I think it will be just what I need to regain that inspiration that can slip away every so often. I am not worried; the tunes will keep coming; they will be new tunes. Better melodies.

The two things in my life that have most defined me for the last decade have been blended in beautiful harmony.  My professional life and my personal life have been played in the same key.  The songs I have sung have flown effortlessly from my heart.  At times they have been rhythmically cacophonous, but always in pitch.  This school year, it will be time to see if my professional songs can maintain their beauty without the wildly personal base track. 

I believe my compositions will only become more harmonious.